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:iconmaidenofwar:

~maidenofwar

I like you.I shall kill you last
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About Me Member Wannabe Poet maidenofwar17/Female/United Kingdom Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Conquest

I never should have let you in.
The gates were open and the door left wide. And you charged in, imposed yourself, with daggers and swords and hypocrites at your side. In three, you took over, and left a mark, and when i demand that you get out, you smile and mock what i've become. And when you leave, you leave having left havoc in your wake. Never said a word and left me to repair all my mistakes. Sew patches, and recreate the parts that have been broken. Left to clean up the wounds, rebuild the walls and erase what has been spoken. Left behind a token of your devestation. A memory of your temptation. For that I have to thank you...
the walls are now taller, stronger, the shields have been replaced.
And for once, I no longer regret the pain upon your face.

Newest

OverdoseEuphoria lies in the insane, the unspeakable acts of sorrow we consume  And as we scream unto tomorrow, pledging to assume acts we know we cannot behold  Do you hear the children weeping?  And do you know that I am screaming?  Late night trauma laced with early morning hope  Falling from stars too far to even acknowledge our home  Laughter comes to those who wait, and patience drowns those who attempt to escape  Lead me to the long lost light in the dark, and promise me that I will leave my mark  Is it wrong that I dream of your tear stained face and your body tremors in arms that are my own  Is it Overdose
by ~maidenofwar
half empty pessimism . collab 
dear peter, it’s time to grow up.  
the lies no longer do,  
even if they are spoken by you.   
Even if you etch them and scar me and burn them into my mind  You’ll never get past the limitations your lies present to my eyes   
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if only i had listened i could have heard the hidden screams,  
but i can still hear your heart  and the song it likes to sing.   
Stitched up and sewn up as a perverse excuse to what you never had  I wonder if you ever did realise how much it hurt me to see you this bad   
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you are like the smoke in my half empty pessimism . collab
by ~maidenofwar
The MachineSshhh… and quieten your voice  Don’t make a sound, and listen to the silence resound  This is Being Alive  When I feel and touch and bathe in pain  When I wait around and stare just to see you smile again  I want to breathe the air that you share, and join your hands with my own  Get closer to your face and know every angle and feature, I moan  And long for, crave for your presence  For the tell tale signs that tell me are hidden within your essence  And to get close, and closer, with my heart imploding in my chest  A thousand brilliant melodies and visuals that elude all the rest &n The Machine
by ~maidenofwar
Fingernagel
by ~maidenofwar
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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: london
  • Interests: music, art in general
  • Favourite movie: Ocean's Eleven, The DaVinci Code, Edward Scissorhands, Metropolis
  • Favourite band or musician: my chemical romance
  • Favourite genre of music: rock, metal, punk and all subsequent sub-genres. classical
  • Favourite artist: james jean, gerard way,mcr raven,arty arta,weshoyot alvitre,delilah88,becky cloonan,gabriel ba...
  • Favourite poet or writer: JK Rowling, LJ Smith, Armitage, DeathByAlgebra, loveslayingdarkness
  • Favourite photographer: Chris Anthony, liliana sanchez. miiyak0.
  • Favourite style of art: all of the, it would be impossible to choose only one
  • Operating System: vista
  • MP3 player of choice: one with a hell of a lot of space
  • Wallpaper of choice: one to draw on
  • Skin of choice: what is now a cliche on DA...my own
  • Favourite cartoon character: nana osaki and nana komatzu, Death The Kid,
  • Personal Quote: CASTRATION! ¬¬
  • Tools of the Trade: everything and anything
  • MSN: ask, and i might oblige

*is drawing minotaurs*

Thu May 28, 2009, 4:02 AM
I can’t write for shit. I can’t seem to get myself to draw unless I’m in the right ‘mood’, filling up a notebook with messy doodles of classrooms and daily events that are totally unimportant. I seem to have messed up college so far, skipping classes I know I need, and walking around towns I know by heart anyway. I’ve been sitting in this room for the past few days, nearly a week, I haven’t left the house because I refuse to go out unless it’s necessary, wearing the same hoodie and pyjama bottoms, my hair is fucked and messy, hasn’t seen a comb in a week, and I’ve been doing fuck all when I’ve got exams next week where I’m supposed to be getting As. I’ve been drinking coffee, eating like shit and just filling this room with empty wrappers and tissues with which I wiped tears when I randomly start to cry for no apparent reasons. I don’t know, maybe I just always as try to romanticise everything I DO IN THE HOPE OF SECURING A PLACE IN THE GREATER PLANE. Like I’m so much better than others whose lives revolve around getting somewhere and getting out and being happier. Coz when I get up in the morning and I look out the window and I see it’s a great day and that I want to phone up some friends, meet up and get out of my house and head for a while, there’s no point in that anyway because I can’t get past the door without alarm bells ringing, both metaphorically and literally. I did try going back coz I have unfinished work at college, and it would have been an excuse to see some friends, maybe bullshit for a while, but my father wouldn’t believe I had any work to do, or that those ‘biology revision classes’ were really taking place, said something about driving me there, heading to reception and demanding to see the teacher to check there were really classes. Or else he told me to get my phone, ring up reception and ask them to put a teacher on the phone.
I got pissed off and told him to forget it, I wasn’t going to insist, if he didn’t want me to go to finish work, I wouldn’t go.
Which is a fuckin problem because that work needs to be in on Monday, and I’m counting on my teacher’s to be lenient to allow me the extra hours. Hours that I’m supposed to have off because of my exam in the afternoon but fuck all cares about shit like that.
I’ve been on msn almost constantly, sometimes bullshitting, sometimes complaining, sometimes whining, sometimes insulting, sometimes laughing… all for no reason. It’s like… wearing a constant mask this bullshit. Like a masquerade only no one knows when the music will stop playing and when the ball will end. All just… a game of pretend?
Past few weeks I started to think I was getting better, then I realised it was a pile of bullshit, I was kidding myself, I’m not getting better at all, I’m just bottling it all up. And trust me, when it decided to come out all in one go, it sucked. It fuckin sucked. And it was horrible. Plus I realise that I have to let things go, things that happened months ago, but I can’t seem to. They seemed to have fucked me up so bad, I can’t let them go. But they’re more like… a dead weight? Like, they’re preventing me from going any further, and I’m being held back and sinking at the same time…. And where there’s the part of me that ones to cut the cord and let those things go, so that I can start to run towards where I’m wanting to go… there’s the part of me that’s perfectly content to continue sinking and continue swimming around in this melancholy. Like this constant state of mind is so habitual and so familiar that anything more colourful seems daunting and not normal, if not plain irrational.
And how the fuck can you try to help someone else when you can’t even help yourself?
Apart from that, there’s the occasional burst of laughter and the occasional feeling alive. And those moments are supposed to make everything worth it are they not?
So here’s to love, friendship and laughter
Here’s to feeling alive even with no happy ever after

Here’s a pretty goddamn good piece of work you guys should check out [link] Read it and give it some lovin’.


:salute: love to you all.

14 Comments | Previous Journal Entries
  • Mood: Not Impressed
  • Listening to: kerrang! radio
  • Drinking: coffeee

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Comments


~Man-i:iconMan-i: Jul 3, 2009, 5:30:38 AM
Hello I thank you for the :+fav: :love:

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:flageu: I'm French
WeB Site // Flickr // I :heart: Typography > ~typoholics
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 6 days 6 hours ago
you're very welcome~

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"Never sit and wait for death... Never waste a single breath..."
=brgtt:iconbrgtt: Jul 3, 2009, 1:18:42 AM
:icontransparentplz::iconlove::icontransparentplz:
:bulletblue::bulletgreen::bulletblue::+fav: thank you :+fav::bulletblue::bulletgreen::bulletblue:
:icontransparentplz::iconcheerplz::icontransparentplz:

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Beware - DANGER: Crazy people: =eileenirma & =brgtt! DO NOT: engage in any kind of activites like: projects, colabs or even comments - YOU WILL BE INFECTED!
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 6 days 6 hours ago
you're very welcome~

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"Never sit and wait for death... Never waste a single breath..."
=pica-ae:iconpica-ae: Jun 29, 2009, 10:31:33 PM
thanks a lot for the :+fav: :huggle:

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member of *CSS-Babes – For Girls Only!| I :heart: Typography – *typoholics | My Stock Account ~pica-stock :shamrock: | My Blog picaTalks:typerhappy: | Join ~VirtualMoleskine
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 6 days 6 hours ago
you're very welcome~

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"Never sit and wait for death... Never waste a single breath..."
=pica-ae:iconpica-ae: 6 days 6 hours ago
:)

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member of *CSS-Babes – For Girls Only!| I :heart: Typography – *typoholics | My Stock Account ~pica-stock :shamrock: | My Blog picaTalks:typerhappy: | Join ~VirtualMoleskine
~TemplarWolf:iconTemplarWolf: Jun 21, 2009, 6:08:09 PM
Hey! Suna let me listen to "Watch Me Bleed" and I liked it a ton! I wish you guys had more songs! :3


And as a fellow band-person and musician/ singer, I understand how hard it is to record. :3

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The Implacable Enemy of Hubris
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: Jun 22, 2009, 11:00:47 AM
hey, dude! thank you so much, i'm glad you like it :D
heh, maybe some time we'll do more and then you can hear them... and the song's title is actually 'Baroque' btw lol.

heh, that's awesome *highfives*
do you have any material i could listen to tho...? >_>

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"Never sit and wait for death... Never waste a single breath..."
~TemplarWolf:iconTemplarWolf: Jun 29, 2009, 6:21:31 PM
Suna gave you some, and I'm very glad to hear you liked it! :3


Baroque? Cool. You just like the name, or know what it means? lol. Baroque is the kind of music Mozart wrote. :3

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The Implacable Enemy of Hubris
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: Jun 29, 2009, 6:44:38 PM
yep, i did like it very much, i loved teh guitar parts :D

heh, yep, i know what it means, i've studied musical history before. I loved the baroque era, plus it was sort of a joke in our band, because for some reason, our music teachers really drilled the features of baroque music into our heads, and this was written at the time xD

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"Never sit and wait for death... Never waste a single breath..."
~TemplarWolf:iconTemplarWolf: Jun 30, 2009, 2:41:27 PM
lol. Baroque music is nice. My dad had me knowing all the periods and stuff before I was out of 7th grade. :P


Thanks! :3

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The Implacable Enemy of Hubris
(1 Reply)
~suna-rose351:iconsuna-rose351: Jun 22, 2009, 5:00:13 PM
He says awesome and he does have some stuff. I'll send some songs to you in either a little bit or tomorrow. :D (He's on a trip right now and aske me to comment for him... ^^;)

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<3 Would you like to leave this human race tonight? <3
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