Right, everyone feels crap, okay? Everyone feels like it’s the worst day of their life, like nothing could possibly be worse.
Only it does.
An everyone has mistakes, everyone has scars, no matter, if they’re mental or physical.
I’m saying this for every single person I’ve cared out (and doubtless, it’l;l happen in the future again) and who I’ve had to watch suffer, coz hell yeah, you suffer with your own self, your inability, you’re whatever.
To say the truth, I don’t believe that anyone is weak, that anyone can truly, completely, not have the strength to give in to depression.
I’m suddenly all angry all the time…you know why? A helplessness to help others…and anger at myself…an anger at others…a feeling that I’m going straight back to square one.
I’m not saying this with any hint of irony, or sarcasm, or shyness at the fact that what I’m saying is probably so positive that at times, it will make me want to throw up…
What I say is that every goddamn person has the strength inside of them to stand up to depression, to whatever it is that’s bringing them down….and that drive, that force, that fire…is what you’ve got to find.
I’m not saying I’m all knowing. Goddamn it, you know I’m not. But I’ll say what I see…apparently I’m young enough to be able to say stuff like this without being pessimistic or taken lightly…(well, let’s hope I don’t grow old) but what you’ve got to do, is find that force. And regardless of what happens, of what life throws at you, no matter how hard, that force will drive you and give you enough hope, enough faith, enough self belief that you will be able to over come anything, that you become confident to pointbof almost ridicule….of scaring others. That’s self-believe and drive.
Where you find it? Goddamn it, I don’t know. To me it’s music, those I love….to you, it could be anything. Your boyfriend, your great-uncle, your love of food and your aspirations to become a chef, your desire to prove yourself….something you want so much, that you realise that throwing your life away on suicide is crap, it’s bull, you’re life’s too short to throw away.
Imagine this….you’re dead. You are buried. Your family and friends are crying.
You never got to live.
No one deserves that. Every single person deserves to live their life to the fullest.
And to those idiots who disagree- love is what drives us. No matter who it’s aimed at. It exists. So don’t you give me no bull on it not being there…you may have had bad experiences with it. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

So next time you want to forget. Next time you aim for the drugs, for the pills, for the booze, for the cuts…think of this if you can.
I’m not saying it’ll help.
I’m saying find what drives you. Find what’ll keep you alive. Find what you live for.

I’ll be very sorry f you waste your life away on self-destruction, depression and suicidal thoughts.

So….
Start searching.
Just Think Happy Thoughts


Thanks to the dude who gave me the slap- it woke me up.

Honeys…the drive is back.
I’m gonna prove people wrong.

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would it too much to ask for you to talk to me, or even ask if i'm okay?
too much to make it seem like you care...


damn the requests for black markers...
i was locked in a bathroom stall punching the wall and crying....
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Man, well it would have to be something real big to convince me to update my journals.

My theory, on this, btw, is that, although i used to be like, a journal junkie, most people don't read journals. And if i have something to say, then it has to be worth it- or i won't bother putting it up.

To Write Love On Her Arms
I'd heard of it, but now i just read about it- and now i know what it is.
-->> [link] <<--

regardless, whatever religion you are, whether you're an athiest even...the story is important. If you have time, read it. If you're curious, then read it well. If you're a pescimist, then go to it with an open mind. If you're depressed, then read it with hope in your head. If you're happy, and fine, and well....then read it as such.

If you understand music.

Then you need no other words.

You'll understand it well...better than alot of people who consider themselves adults, rationals or even those who think thy know better.

Ah....
and to think, amidst all the crap there is actually hope, actual good things that happen...
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EDIT-

More hope amongst the masses!
Free Hugs campaign
-->> [link] <<--

The simplest thing in the world, and incredible how no one thought of it…just watch the video on their home page.

Small acts go a long way don’t they?

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On another more solemn note-
A year has passed since Gregory Lemarchal's death.
La voix d'un ange...