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~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar:

I like you.I shall kill you last  

  • Status: Member
  • dAmn Addict
  • Female/United Kingdom
  • Invisible
  • Deviant since Jan 2, 2007, 9:25 AM
  • 105 Deviations
  • 7 Scraps [browse]
  • 2,447 Deviation Comments
  • 649 Deviant Comments
  • 1 News Comment
  • 4,611 Pageviews

gerard...look at me

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PLEASE READ!!! (EDIT-scroll down- FHC)

Journal Entry: Mon May 5, 2008, 12:14 PM
Right, everyone feels crap, okay? Everyone feels like it’s the worst day of their life, like nothing could possibly be worse.
Only it does.
An everyone has mistakes, everyone has scars, no matter, if they’re mental or physical.
I’m saying this for every single person I’ve cared out (and doubtless, it’l;l happen in the future again) and who I’ve had to watch suffer, coz hell yeah, you suffer with your own self, your inability, you’re whatever.
To say the truth, I don’t believe that anyone is weak, that anyone can truly, completely, not have the strength to give in to depression.
I’m suddenly all angry all the time…you know why? A helplessness to help others…and anger at myself…an anger at others…a feeling that I’m going straight back to square one.
I’m not saying this with any hint of irony, or sarcasm, or shyness at the fact that what I’m saying is probably so positive that at times, it will make me want to throw up…
What I say is that every goddamn person has the strength inside of them to stand up to depression, to whatever it is that’s bringing them down….and that drive, that force, that fire…is what you’ve got to find.
I’m not saying I’m all knowing. Goddamn it, you know I’m not. But I’ll say what I see…apparently I’m young enough to be able to say stuff like this without being pessimistic or taken lightly…(well, let’s hope I don’t grow old) but what you’ve got to do, is find that force. And regardless of what happens, of what life throws at you, no matter how hard, that force will drive you and give you enough hope, enough faith, enough self belief that you will be able to over come anything, that you become confident to pointbof almost ridicule….of scaring others. That’s self-believe and drive.
Where you find it? Goddamn it, I don’t know. To me it’s music, those I love….to you, it could be anything. Your boyfriend, your great-uncle, your love of food and your aspirations to become a chef, your desire to prove yourself….something you want so much, that you realise that throwing your life away on suicide is crap, it’s bull, you’re life’s too short to throw away.
Imagine this….you’re dead. You are buried. Your family and friends are crying.
You never got to live.
No one deserves that. Every single person deserves to live their life to the fullest.
And to those idiots who disagree- love is what drives us. No matter who it’s aimed at. It exists. So don’t you give me no bull on it not being there…you may have had bad experiences with it. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

So next time you want to forget. Next time you aim for the drugs, for the pills, for the booze, for the cuts…think of this if you can.
I’m not saying it’ll help.
I’m saying find what drives you. Find what’ll keep you alive. Find what you live for.

I’ll be very sorry f you waste your life away on self-destruction, depression and suicidal thoughts.

So….
Start searching.
Just Think Happy Thoughts


Thanks to the dude who gave me the slap- it woke me up.

Honeys…the drive is back.
I’m gonna prove people wrong.

--------------

would it too much to ask for you to talk to me, or even ask if i'm okay?
too much to make it seem like you care...


damn the requests for black markers...
i was locked in a bathroom stall punching the wall and crying....

---------------------------

Man, well it would have to be something real big to convince me to update my journals.

My theory, on this, btw, is that, although i used to be like, a journal junkie, most people don't read journals. And if i have something to say, then it has to be worth it- or i won't bother putting it up.

To Write Love On Her Arms
I'd heard of it, but now i just read about it- and now i know what it is.
-->> [link] <<--

regardless, whatever religion you are, whether you're an athiest even...the story is important. If you have time, read it. If you're curious, then read it well. If you're a pescimist, then go to it with an open mind. If you're depressed, then read it with hope in your head. If you're happy, and fine, and well....then read it as such.

If you understand music.

Then you need no other words.

You'll understand it well...better than alot of people who consider themselves adults, rationals or even those who think thy know better.

Ah....
and to think, amidst all the crap there is actually hope, actual good things that happen...
---------
EDIT-

More hope amongst the masses!
Free Hugs campaign
-->> [link] <<--

The simplest thing in the world, and incredible how no one thought of it…just watch the video on their home page.

Small acts go a long way don’t they?

---
On another more solemn note-
A year has passed since Gregory Lemarchal's death.
La voix d'un ange...

  • Mood: Relief
  • Listening to: gerard way
  • Reading: what frank iero says
  • Watching: ray toro
  • Playing: at wanting bob bryar
  • Eating: sushi...like mikey way

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 16
  • Current Residence: london
  • Interests: MUSIC! singing, writing, drawing, the violin, the piano, the guitar,horror books, and MY CHEM!!!!
  • Favourite movie: ocean's eleven, The DaVinci code, sister act...
  • Favourite band or musician: my chemical romance all the way!!!
  • Favourite genre of music: rock-wotever genre, emo, metal: i like fall out boy AND i like slayer, and muse, and HIM and...
  • Favourite artist: james jean,gerard way,mcr raven,arty arta,weshoyot alvitre,delilah88,becky cloonan,gabriel ba...
  • Favourite poet or writer: JK Rowling, LJ Smith, Armitage, DeathByAlgebra,loveslayingdarkness
  • Favourite photographer: Chris Anthony, liliana sanchez. miiyak0.
  • Operating System: vista
  • MP3 player of choice: one with a hell of a lot of space
  • Wallpaper of choice: one with gerard way all over it...
  • Skin of choice: what is now a cliche on DA...my own
  • Favourite cartoon character: nana osaki and nana komatzu
  • Personal Quote: slightly, ever so slightly...spaztic!
  • Tools of the Trade: my lack of brain...

deviantART Notice

Devious Comments

~altered-rocker:iconaltered-rocker: 23 hours 42 minutes ago
thanx so much for the fave!!
:headbang:

--
Wanna see something rockin'? [link]

People United Worldwide To Take A Stand, To Tell The Truth!
-Anti Flag

:fusionrock:Peace Out-Rock On-Be Alternative-Be Strange-Be Yourself:fusionrock:
~Roadie2606:iconRoadie2606: 1 day 6 hours ago
Thanks a bunch for that :+fav: and the watch, hun...

--
:jawdrop: ES GIBT NICHT ZU SEHN', BITTE SEHN' SIE HER...

Bob the Drummie, can we rock it? :heart:
~Confuzzlediness:iconConfuzzlediness: 1 day 7 hours ago
Thank you for the fav and the wonderful comment on Helena! I really, really appreciate it! :hug: :heart:

--
Those that do die of it do seldom or never recover. - William Shakespeare.
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 1 day 8 hours ago
oh okay.

--
Never let anyone bring you down. Never think your life's not worth it. Never turn to suicide. Never turn to depression. Never harm yourself in anyway. Never give in.
Keep standing, keep fighting the good fight no matter what.
Keep yourself alive
~Turmann:iconTurmann: 1 day 8 hours ago
*nods*

no... Michael put in what he thought of what Malitorci said... which was removed for the italic thing and rewritten in a separate comment

--
Whatever it is, tell someone about it....
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 1 day 9 hours ago
no problem honey

you don't have to thank me for that ^ ^

--
Never let anyone bring you down. Never think your life's not worth it. Never turn to suicide. Never turn to depression. Never harm yourself in anyway. Never give in.
Keep standing, keep fighting the good fight no matter what.
Keep yourself alive
~finaldyingwish:iconfinaldyingwish: 1 day 9 hours ago
wow....thanks 4 ur niceness

--
I carved ur name in the bullet, so they'd know the last thing going through my mind

(I carved Dom into the bullet)

The end is 5/24/08
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 1 day 9 hours ago
i try to be
and if i'm ever mean to you...than that'd b nasty, selfish, pretentious, and make me an asshole.
and i'd rather not be any one of those.

--
Never let anyone bring you down. Never think your life's not worth it. Never turn to suicide. Never turn to depression. Never harm yourself in anyway. Never give in.
Keep standing, keep fighting the good fight no matter what.
Keep yourself alive
~finaldyingwish:iconfinaldyingwish: 1 day 9 hours ago
people aren't nice all the time so it wouldn't suprise me if u weren't

--
I carved ur name in the bullet, so they'd know the last thing going through my mind

(I carved Dom into the bullet)

The end is 5/24/08
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 1 day 9 hours ago
ofcourse i'll be nice to you, why wouldn't I?

and you're nice to me too ^ ^

--
Never let anyone bring you down. Never think your life's not worth it. Never turn to suicide. Never turn to depression. Never harm yourself in anyway. Never give in.
Keep standing, keep fighting the good fight no matter what.
Keep yourself alive
~finaldyingwish:iconfinaldyingwish: 1 day 9 hours ago
yey!! i like u, ur nice to me

--
I carved ur name in the bullet, so they'd know the last thing going through my mind

(I carved Dom into the bullet)

The end is 5/24/08
~finaldyingwish:iconfinaldyingwish: 1 day 9 hours ago
ya welcome

--
I carved ur name in the bullet, so they'd know the last thing going through my mind

(I carved Dom into the bullet)

The end is 5/24/08
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 1 day 9 hours ago
no problem ^ ^

i'm happy to give it away :heart:

--
Never let anyone bring you down. Never think your life's not worth it. Never turn to suicide. Never turn to depression. Never harm yourself in anyway. Never give in.
Keep standing, keep fighting the good fight no matter what.
Keep yourself alive
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 1 day 9 hours ago
thank you ^ ^

--
Never let anyone bring you down. Never think your life's not worth it. Never turn to suicide. Never turn to depression. Never harm yourself in anyway. Never give in.
Keep standing, keep fighting the good fight no matter what.
Keep yourself alive
~finaldyingwish:iconfinaldyingwish: 1 day 9 hours ago
thanks for the faves and friendship

--
I carved ur name in the bullet, so they'd know the last thing going through my mind

(I carved Dom into the bullet)

The end is 5/24/08
~finaldyingwish:iconfinaldyingwish: 1 day 10 hours ago
i like your signature

--
I carved ur name in the bullet, so they'd know the last thing going through my mind

(I carved Dom into the bullet)

The end is 5/24/08
~TommyTheFox:iconTommyTheFox: 1 day 12 hours ago
Thanks for the favorite

--
In The Wind
~AdolescentSuicide:iconAdolescentSuicide: 1 day 14 hours ago
yeah with my sewing skills I'm happy to get an ovencloth done. :rofl:

--
die muse roch gut doch wurde tot geborn'.

:date: FRAbbs 4 ever. :heart:
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 1 day 17 hours ago
hehe, lol, no problem! :D

--
Never let anyone bring you down. Never think your life's not worth it. Never turn to suicide. Never turn to depression. Never harm yourself in anyway. Never give in.
Keep standing, keep fighting the good fight no matter what.
Keep yourself alive
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 1 day 17 hours ago
you can get it made....

or just make it yourself! :D

DIY my chemical romanticism!!

--
Never let anyone bring you down. Never think your life's not worth it. Never turn to suicide. Never turn to depression. Never harm yourself in anyway. Never give in.
Keep standing, keep fighting the good fight no matter what.
Keep yourself alive
~Veraikon:iconVeraikon: 1 day 19 hours ago
thanks for the fav!
~HappyArtist101:iconHappyArtist101: 2 days 1 hour ago
Thanks for the favs :teddy:

--
"By day, I am Bruce Wayne billionare philanthropist. At night, criminals, a cowardly and superstitous lot, call me...BATMAN"---HUSH
SUPERMAN RETURNED on June 30, 2006 :superman:
Oh how wrong we were to think
That immortality meant never dying
:kitty:
~DesertSong:iconDesertSong: 2 days 5 hours ago
Thank you for the venom!!
:+fav:

--
From the lights to the pavement...
From the van to the floor...
From backstage to the doctor...
From the earth to the morgue..
Morgue.
Morgue.
MORGUE!
~AdolescentSuicide:iconAdolescentSuicide: 2 days 6 hours ago
yes please!!! I want a helena dress myself but I don't find one!!!

hehe. thanks...^^

--
die muse roch gut doch wurde tot geborn'.

:date: FRAbbs 4 ever. :heart:
~maidenofwar:iconmaidenofwar: 2 days 8 hours ago
yh..helena dress! shall i send ya a photo? i can't upload anything on DA...coz my comp blocks it..my comps a real ass actually...

heh, happy early b-day then ! :D

--
Never let anyone bring you down. Never think your life's not worth it. Never turn to suicide. Never turn to depression. Never harm yourself in anyway. Never give in.
Keep standing, keep fighting the good fight no matter what.
Keep yourself alive